Asking for help can be uncomfortable and humbling, but sometimes it’s necessary. Since I’m visiting MD Anderson Cancer Center this week for my one-year follow-up scans, it got me thinking about the best techniques to ask for (and get) the help we need when times are tough. Here’s EXACTLY what to say when you need to ask for help.
Bullying isn’t always confined to children – some bullies take their bullying ways into the workplace as adults. If you’re being bullied at work, here’s what you need to know to make your life easier, more peaceful, and keep your bully at bay.
Been stressed lately?
Of course you have. Stress is inevitable, but suffering from its major symptoms is not.
We all experience stress. But it’s interesting to note that we all experience it in different ways. Some of us get lethargic when we’re stressed out, while others seem to be crackling with angry energy, like a live wire.
There are five symptoms that are the most common indicators of stress:
- Physical pain (often headaches or stomachaches)
- Fatigue
- Irritability
- Sadness
- Unhealthy behaviors (over- or under-eating, abandoning exercise, or taking up of vices)
We commonly don’t take the time to address or fix our symptoms of stress, because we think we’re too busy to deal with them! When we fall into a stress-cycle, our stress and busy-ness send off these symptoms as warning signs, begging us to address our stress level. When we ignore them, the symptoms themselves make us more stressed, and the cycle continues. Stress makes us irritable, which causes a headache, for example, and the headache causes more stress, and so on down the line.
If you are experiencing one or more of these five symptoms of stress, don’t just push through. You may feel “too busy,” to take the time out of your busy day to relieve your stress symptoms, but research shows you physically and mentally cannot do your best work when your body is being flooded with adrenalin, cortisol, and just plain too. Much. Work.
First, stop what you are doing. Physically stop for several minutes and allow your brain time to reset. This allows the stress alarms in your brain to shut off.
Next, select an activity that moves your work forward but doesn’t require anxiety or panic. For example, when I’m in this mode I like to take out my colored sticky flags and tab my research by subject area. It’s work that has to be done, but it’s mostly busy-work. This type of activity allows you to move slowly out of panic mode.
Finally, and this is the most important, as you gear back up to your regular activities, be sure that you maintain what’s known as an “internal locus of control.” This means that you maintain ownership over your activities, however that looks like in your life and your job. No, you may not be the ultimate decision-maker, but you absolutely do have power over your tasks and your priorities, and maintaining an internal locus of control means focusing on that power. Studies show that having an internal locus of control is a key factor in preventing on-the-job overwhelm and burnout.
By taking control when you feel yourself suffering from one of these five common symptoms of stress, you’ll lessen the hold stress has on you and your opportunities to succeed.
-Courtney
Saying certain things to your spouse can start a fight, or they can fix hurt feelings. Here are 4 important things to say that build a strong marriage and increase your emotional resilience as a couple.
Work-related anxiety impacts your ability to get work done, to get promoted, and to work effectively on a team. It also impacts your ability to be happy!
Here are five signs you are suffering from work-related anxiety:
You can’t help but run late and miss deadlines, no matter how hard you try.
Anxiety sometimes manifests in self-defeating behaviors. Even if you’ve been warned about your tardiness, and you know you have to do better, for some reason you just can’t help but be tardy and you don’t know why.
You feel exhausted all the time.
Not just getting up in the morning, but mid-morning, mid-afternoon… you always seem to need an extra cup of coffee.
You are extra-sensitive to criticism.
No one likes criticism, but being a working professional means dealing with constructive criticism – it’s just a part of life! If all of a sudden every suggestion feels like an attack, that can be a sign of anxiety.
You stop speaking up in meetings.
Anxiety can manifest as detachment – it’s like your mind is getting so amped up that you appear to not care, even though you care so deeply you are making yourself anxious.
You aren’t enjoying your job, yet you also can’t get excited about looking for another one.
Usually when we stop enjoying our job or our workplace, it’s time to find a new job, and there’s usually a feeling of excitement and possibility associated with the job hunt. But if you are suffering from work-related anxiety, the job isn’t the problem, your anxiety is, so finding a new job won’t solve the problem.
So what can you do if you are experiencing work-related anxiety?
First, you have to identify it for what it is. Recognize that what you are experiencing – exhaustion, sensitivity, detachment – all stems from anxiety. You may be feeling persecuted, picked on, left out, or like you are failing, but those are just feelings, and they aren’t necessarily reality.
Second, get help. You could consider professional help, like cognitive behavioral therapy to stop the endless anxious loops your mind is running. Or you might be served by finding a mentor to coach you, help set you on a path to success, and break your less-helpful habits.
Finally, find some enjoyment. Ideally, you can find enjoyment within your job, since that’s where your anxiety manifested. Perhaps take on a new project or get involved with an affinity group at your office. If that’s not possible, look for enjoyable opportunities outside of your work. Stress-relieving activities often have benefits that can bleed over into all areas of our lives, so get out the door and find something enjoyable to be a part of.
We spend too much time in the workplace to be miserable, so tackle work-related anxiety head on.
-Courtney
